女终结者

　　MeettheQueenoftheSouthSeas.Asexuallyvoraciousgoddess,sheluresyoungmentohercastleand,iftheyfailtosatisfyherdemands,killsthemfasterthanyoucansay'vaginadentata',leavingherhandmaidenstodisposeofthecastratedremains…
　　OnenighttheQueenmeetshermatch.Herpriapicsuitorsnatchesthesnakethatisthesourceofherpowerfrombetweenherthighs–causingittotransformintoakrisfasterthanyoucansay'blatantsymbolism'–anddemandsthatshesubmittobehiswifeascustomapparentlydictates.TheQueen,however,refuses,swearsrevengeontheman'sancestorsandplungesintotheseatocommunewithevil…
　　Fastforward100orsoyearsandweareintroducedtoTanya(KristiannaLoken,erBarbaraAnneConstable),anforeignanthropologystudentresearchingthelegendoftheSouthSeasQueenforherthesis.Shechartersaboat,goesdivingandinexplicablywindsupspreadeagledonagiant-sizebedintheQueen'sundersealairtothenbepenetratedbythemagicsnake-phallus.
　　Afewdayslater–theboathavingbeenlostatseainasudden,inexplicablestorm–thenow-reincarnatedQueen/TanyarisesfromtheseaAphrodite-like(thoughthat'ssurelyanethnocentricdescription;whynotAphroditerosefromtheseaNyaiLoroKidul-likeafterallhethensaysinaboutofself-criticism)anddisposesofacoupleofdrunks,therebyequippingherselfwithtightleathersandsomefirearmswithaseeminglyendlesssupplyofammunition…
　　Fromhereonit'sprettymucharehashofTheTerminatorastheSeaQueengoesafterErica,asingerwhoisthedescendantofhersuitor.PolicemanMax(ChristopherJ.Hart)andhisbuddiesrescueEricafromadiscomassacre–cuethe"Comewithmeifyouwanttolive"line–andtakehertothestationforprotection.NaturallyLadyTerminatorarrivesandshootstheplaceup,butEricaandhernewloveinterestmanagetoescape.Aprotractedseriesofchases,shootoutsandexplosionsensueuntil,finally,Maxandco.faceoffagainstthenow-ZombielikeLadyTerminator,completewitheyesshotinglaserbeams…
　　IsLadyTerminatoragoodfilddd?Doyoureallyneedmetosayno?.Onelaughsatthefilmratherthanwithit,whetheritbethefashionsandhairstyles–snowwashedjeansandmulletsanyone?–theropeyeffects;theoverlyintrusiveanddecidedlycheesysynthscore;shoehorninginofTerminator-ismsaswhentheotherwiseall-butindestructibleQueenremovesandthenreinsertsadamagedeye;or–firstamongequals–theoftenludicrouspost-syncheddialogue:
　　Max:Wehavethreeverydeadbodieshere…
　　Othercop#1:Veryinteresting.Itsayshereallthreeoftheseguysdiedwiththeircocksbittenoff.Couldbeasmallanimal.
　　Othercop#2:Thereportsaysaneel.Aneelondryland?I'veheardoftheultimateblowjobbut,uh,thisistoomuch
　　Max:Obviouslydonebythesameperson.Butwhy?What'shisorhermotive?
　　Othercop#1:Howcanahumanbeingdothis?
　　Othercop#2:Well,veryeasily.Firstyoutaketheirpantsoff…
　　(Notethatthisscenewasprecededbyotherwisepointlessdialogueabouteatinghotdogs–saynomore…)
　　ThusLadyTerminatorisanenjoyablefilm,inthat"sobadit'sgood"waythatalmosttranscendsrationalanalysis.Itisalsoevident,however,thatthefilm-makersbelievedinwhattheyweredoingand,withoutcondescencion,soughttodothebesttheycould,injectingenergyandstyleintotheproceedingsandputtingtheirmoneyonthescreen.Plus,it'salsoworthrememberinghowTheTerminatordoesn'texactlyalwaysshineinthemake-upandFXdepartmentseither,aswiththewayAhnuld'sheadgetsbroaderratherthannarrowerasthefilmprogressesandhisinnerroboticsareexposed,orthatpainfullyobviousmattepaintingofthecomingdesertstormattheend.
　　Itisalsoaninterestingfilm.ThefusionoftraditionalIndonesianmythandwesternscience-fictionmayneverquitecomeoff,butthecollisionofculturesandideasatleastprovidesplentyoffoodforthought,withwhatisrelativelychasematerialbycomparisionwithwesterntrashcinemastandards–onethinksofLinaRomay'snotdissimilarfemmecatastricesinJessFranco'sFemaleVampireandDorianaGreyortheoutrightpornoofTheSperimator–butwhichwouldseemtohavepushedtheboundariesasfarastheIndonesianauthortieswereconcerned,withthefilmhavingapparentlybeenbannedintheterritoryatonepoint.
　　Yetthetemptationisoftentooveranalyse,asifbyofjustification:OnecouldwellimaginesomegrandLegendoftheSevenGoldenVampiresstylethesiswherebytheanthropologistbecomesemblematicofwesternimperialism,purportingtobeinterestedinunderstandingnativeculturebutreallyonlyimposingherexistingdefinitionsuponitasOther,withherpossessiontherebyasomewhatjustifiableindigenousresponsetothishubris.SuchareadingwouldthendoubtlesscontinuewiththefigureofMaxasinstrumentalindefeatingtheSeaQueeninsavingErikaassymptomaticofaparadoxicalcounterposingstatementtotheeffectthatIndonesianscannotdowithouttheirwesternallies–anddoubtlessthewholethingwouldthenbereadasacodedcritiqueand/orendorsementoftheSuhartoregime,dependingonthespin.
　　Themoreprosaictruth,however,issurelythatthepresenceofthewesternerswasfirstandforemostameansofenhancingLadyTerminator'sofficepotentialontheexportmarket–atestamenttoculturalimperialismitself,tobesure,buthardlyonethatrequiresintellectualgymnastics.
　　Andthis,ultimately,ishowandwhyLadyTerminatorworks:It'safilmwhosegoalistopleaseitsdiverseaudiencesandintowhichanythingandeverythingthatmightaccomplishthisaimhasbeenthrown,regardlessofhowwellthoseingredients(andtheirrespectiveaudiences)reallygotogether.
　　Thankfully,thecocktailtastesgood–albeitinabadtasteway–andhasthedesiredstupefyingeffect…
　　http://www.kinocite.co.uk/17/1728.php……